…I was telling a friend about it and she told me I wasn’t growing boobs, I was just fat. I don’t think she meant to be mean, as she actually said, “Nah we are just fat” referring to herself as well. Even though I was overweight, I could tell my breasts were developing because they had a distinct roundness underneath, something new and unmistakably breastly. I then went on to start my periods aged 12, so yes, my breasts were developing.

The next memory I have of my breasts was when I was 16, and walking out of school. I wasn’t wearing a school uniform, I was wearing a jumper. A man in a white van was parked at the traffic lights, and he said to me, “You must not be wearing a bra, because your boobs are bouncing up and down”. I was a shy and naive 16 year old and walked off not knowing what to say to this man. I was wearing a bra, and it made me conscious of how my boobs ‘behaved’ and made me walk less confidently and bouncy, as it made my breasts bounce apparently.

When I was 17 I was in class, and one of the girls drew the ‘perfect breast’ to see what the boys thought. She drew it from the side on view, and was a pert shape. The boys agreed that was the perfect boob. My boobs didn’t look like that, even at the age of 17, I could hold a pencil under my boob, which I had read somewhere this meant you were overweight or your boobs were saggy. At the age of 17 I thought I had saggy boobs.

I was about 2 stone overweight from 10-17, the time I developed my breasts. Then at 17 I lost weight to a healthy weight. As mentioned I thought my boobs were saggy, and wondered if this is because they developed when I was overweight, and had I been a healthy weight would they have been pert? (I have since learned/decided that this is just the shape of my breasts whatever size I am).

As I got older, these feelings didn’t just disappear, they shaped the way I saw myself well into adulthood.

I went to university, and one of my new friends told me that Geri Halliwell had said she sleeps in a bra to stop her boobs getting saggy, so I started sleeping in a bra (underwired!!). I have since learned not to do this, and that obviously this will not affect the shape of your breasts, but may affect the blood supply to your breast tissue, potentially causing damage.

I got my first boyfriend at university, and he sent me dick pics, and in return I sent him photos of my breasts. I was ashamed of my ‘saggy’ boobs so lay down on my bed and took the photo from above, rather than standing up. I also for many years did not have sex with me on top for fear of how my boobs looked in this position.

Over the years, boyfriends showed appreciation through touch, but none ever told me outright that I had nice breasts.

I have never hated my body or my boobs, but I have never particularly liked my boobs, or thought I had nice ones, or had any positive thoughts about them. I thought they were saggy and unattractive. I never got naked in front of anyone except boyfriends, and as mentioned preferred not to be on top during sex.

When I was 29 Naked Attraction, the tv show, was aired. I was fascinated by the female bodies to see what other breasts looked like. Up until this point I don’t think I had really seen the diversity of breasts before. Hearing the compliments that women with breasts like mine got from the men made me feel better about my breasts (though now I feel I shouldn’t have been so validated by mens views)

When I was 31 I became a nurse looking after women of all ages with cancer, and then looking after the elderly. I saw a lot of breasts. Some with cancer, and open cancerous wounds, and also breasts of all ages from 40 years - 106 years old. Looking after people with breast cancer, and also seeing what happens to breasts as we go into older age, made me fully appreciate my breasts (and the rest of my body) for the first time in my life. I have healthy breasts, and that is all that matters. I believe a big part of being able to accept my body has also come with age. Being in my 30s my mind shifted and I care less and less what other people think of me, and love myself more and more. Sorry society, but your expectations of me hating myself has much less power over me now!

I am now 38 and over the past 6 years have gained about 4 stone, making me 4 stone overweight. My breasts have grown from a B cup to much bigger (I don’t measure my boobs or wear ‘proper’ bras so I have no idea what size I am now. I wear sports bras in size 14). I love my new big boobs, and still think they are saggy, but I don’t care anymore. Lydia along with lots of other body positive people sharing diversity of women's bodies, has helped my confidence in myself, and over the past year I have been on a journey of self acceptance and self love, being at my heaviest I have ever been. I started going to burlesque dance classes, and every 10 weeks we perform a show to the public - I have just completed my third show, and was up on stage in sexy underwear shaking my boobs with confidence. I have never felt so confident about how I look, or care less what other people think. One of the girls I dance with also gets her breasts out in her dance wearing nipple tassles, and she said to me “they are just boobs” - and she is right, they’re just boobs, what’s the big deal!

Getting my breasts cast by Lyida is a big part of this journey and celebration of loving my body for where it is at this moment in time.

Thank you, Lydia, for creating such gorgeous artwork and celebrating the wonderful diversity of women. You help us embrace ourselves as we are and feel beautiful - because we are all beautiful.